Drew's Blog: I want a famous face!

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November 06, 2004

I want a famous face!

People often ask me what I'm doing next year. "Staying here and continuing to teach and motivate young people to learn and do their very best," I usually say. Then I laugh and pour myself another gin and tonic.

Haha. No really. Now that the American people have spoken (and shouted in near unison: "I want cake!" while drooling on their overalls) there aren't a ton of jobs available to young liberal political hacks. That's why I'm applying for The Real World. See, I have a plan. I want to return to the glory days of reality TV, when you could be proud to be on there. Now, it's just dealers and hos. Dealers and hos, man.

I checked out the MTV casting call site, and was faced with the following questions:
"Do you ever want to contact the dead?"
"Are you a young Latina caught between two cultures?"
"Do you live in a trailer park with your family?"
and (my favorite) "Have you felt the harsh consequences of having a friend or a family member sent back to Cambodia?"

Sadly, I can't answer yes to any of these questions. I thought about applying for the last one, but then decided that Bruce's study abroad in Australia probably wasn't close enough.

I was just about to give up hope, when I saw "Do you live in the world's most boring town?"

"Hallelujia!" I cried. "Moving to Arkansas is finally paying off!"

I was all ready to let them know about my radical MTV style suggestions for how this town could be improved (Keep the library open later! Provide us with some decent organic tea!) when I realized that any town which is as fucked up as this one couldn't possibly be described as "boring." Sure, eggs get thrown at our door and my students keep getting pregnant, but at least it's interesting. I mean we're up to three restaurants now!

My faith in Marianna restored, I chose to forgo any more debate as to my future ambitions. Instead, I plan on spending the rest of the evening knocking back cocktails and figuring out whether or not failing to get my lesson plans done on time could get me sent back to Cambodia.

Posted by Drew at November 6, 2004 09:47 PM

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