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January 27, 2005
Brain = off
I mailed in my first application this week and have more stuff on the burner, but I'm going through a period of overwhelming apathy. The two most productive things I did today were to watch Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle (Thanks Kelly. It was brilliant. I'll put it in the mail tomorrow.) and beat a level of Lemmings. The rest of the day is just a blur. Oh, and I shaved. And ate waffles. That's all. Brain = goo.
Posted by Drew at 10:18 PM | Comments (106) | TrackBack
January 26, 2005
Even I'm sick of the gay cartoon caracters
The problem with Buster the Bunny is that the whole thing has gotten so absurd that it's easy to overlook that the federal government is taking a really terrible stand. It's a little distressing that the first public action of our new Secretary of Education is to attack a friggin' PBS show featuring a rabbit with a camcorder (as opposed to, say, getting a new pair of glasses)
The NY Times has a nice little article on it, which takes the whole thing from the show's point of view and makes it pretty clear that this should be a giant non-issue. If the show is supposed to be about different types of families, you have to feature, umm, different types of families. And, c'mon, it's two moms. That's totally ok. Two dads? Ok, that would be pretty gay.
Anyway, I guess we should all just be thankful that this is the biggest problem in our lives, and we don't have anything more pressing to be dealing with.
Posted by Drew at 09:12 PM | Comments (49) | TrackBack
January 25, 2005
Two Friends and a Pain
Today, in another teacher's class, one of my students (one whom yesterday I would have referred to as "one of my best students") wrote a story in which a dog (named after the student), and a cat (named after that teacher) united against a cruel natured hamster (named, of course, "Mr. Courtney.") In the end the hamster was attacked and "ripped to shreads." The cat and dog remained lifelong friends.
Not only was I invited over to hear a public reading of this story, but so were 3 other teachers on my hallway. We all said it was very funny, although one of us (me) may have been lying.
I am going to paddle soooooooo many students tomorrow.
*sigh*
Posted by Drew at 10:34 PM | Comments (54) | TrackBack
Queer Eye for the Straight Rabbit
Hannah sent me this link, making my day: SpongeBob receives 'unequivocal welcome' from United Church of Christ. I do want to point out, though, that if UCC is really accepting, they should try to offer Christ's grace to gay, gay Bugs.
Posted by Drew at 10:16 PM | Comments (50) | TrackBack
January 19, 2005
Four more years.
Not only is tomorrow the regional finals for quiz bowl, it's also the day America must lay in the incompetent, unwise, and perhaps even corrupt bed it has made for itself. Yes, tomorrow is inaugeration day. I'd like to think that it's the last for this particular president, but, well, we all know the regard he's shown the constitution in the past.
In honor of this happy day, I'd like to post this picture of a child whose parents were shot to death in Iraq. I really don't want to be glib (or play politics) with such an horrific event, but Bush's policies have real consequences and we need to be aware of what exactly it is we're talking about. Even, and especially, those of us who oppose Bush ought to be ashamed of what he's done.
Thanks, Mr. President, for all that you've done for my country.
Posted by Drew at 10:31 PM | Comments (56) | TrackBack
January 18, 2005
Jobs
Well, I've started to apply for jobs. Or rather, I've started to prepare to apply for jobs. I now have several files on my computer with open resumes, cover letters, breezy e-mails, etc. If you know of someone who would like to hire a misanthropic, ex-teacher, political hack, please let me know. My salary requirements are as follows:
Jobs in which I have to sort out who hit who and which child needs to go to the bathroom really badly and which child is just faking: $1,000,000 / year
Jobs in which I never again have to use the phrase "Shakespeare Buck": will work for food
Posted by Drew at 10:05 PM | Comments (62) | TrackBack
January 13, 2005
Teacher Shortage
All the incentive I got was the chance to make the differnce in the life of a child. I wish I'd taken the movie.
Posted by Drew at 08:59 PM | Comments (50) | TrackBack
January 12, 2005
The Left Will Rise Again
Although I'm not going to pretend that there was anything good that came out of election 2004 (no, Obama can't even compensate for the crackheads who are now in the US Senate, let alone the cokehead in the Whitehouse) but I did have a theory, all along, that in some ways it would be better if we lost.
Sure, I'm just trying to make lemonade, but no one can say that the American left didn't need a huge kick in the ass. Well, we got it and we'll all be paying for it for the next thirty years or so, but at least we're starting to get back on track.
George Soros et al are planning to devote big, big money to "invest further in the intellectual future of the left." That means that finally, the left is going to develope something to rival the Heritage foundation and the rest of the Vast Right Wing Conspiricy. All those crazy ideas the neo-cons are pushing had to come from somewhere.
This is the first step out of the pit. Now if we could just get rid of this last few shreds of "dignity" we could make up some Swift Boat style lies and really get in the game.
Posted by Drew at 09:44 PM | Comments (78) | TrackBack
OMG OMG OMG!!!
They now have a Craig's List for Memphis!!! Rock on!!
Posted by Drew at 09:20 PM | Comments (12) | TrackBack
January 11, 2005
I'm so confused
Today I held a detention. Only two kids showed up, so I figured, why should I be punished as well? and turned on All Things Considered.
As is my luck, they were doing a story on broadcast indecency. Indecency of all sorts being a favorite topic of mine (ha), I decided to listen. They started interviewing a "media analyst" from the Parents Television Council who started to recount some of her most objectionable television moments.
Media Analyst: So the student is trying to break up with the teacher. She's putting her had on his bottom, speaking softly into his ear, and it's made clear that they have sex in the classroom.
Reporter: So, do you think this has any dramatic or artistic value?
Keontae (in detention): Yes!
The radio program was turned off, but in the meantime, I had fallen into my own social/political/educational portal:
- NPR is news! Kids aren't supposed to like it.
- The PTC is prudish and awful, yet what they were sharing on the air was more salacious then the original programing on television.
- I'm very anti-censorship, and yet a little perturbed that I can't listen to NPR with my students. The PTC is being too graphic! I'm being offended by conservatives!
- Up is down! Black is white! Gay is straight!
I'm thinking of filing a complaint with the FCC just for the pure hell of it.
(Also note, the NPR webpage has a headline asking "Blackberry or crackberry?" Now that's funny.)
Posted by Drew at 10:25 PM | Comments (69) | TrackBack
January 10, 2005
Rob and Catherine got Married!!
The title says it all. Rob and Catherine are now officially married. It was unspeakably fantastic. Catherine's brothers are great, as are her friends. The ceremony was small and intimate, the food was terrific, the view was amazing, and I got the bed both nights while Bruce was stuck on the couch.
I won't say anything else, as it will cheapen it (everything I touch turns to camp!) but I'll be putting pictures up later.
I hope all of you can have weddings as great as this one. Well, those of you I like anyway.
Posted by Drew at 09:40 PM | Comments (111) | TrackBack
January 03, 2005
The Pink Elm
I'm sorry that I haven't had a chance to update much of late. Ok, I've had a chance, it's just that I've used that opportunity for more useful endevors, like memorizing The Return of the King. (Now, listen carefully. Lord Denethor is Boromir's father. To give him news of his beloved son's death would be most unwise!) Luckily, I have the chance to make it up to you by sharing the greatest story ever written:
One thousand years ago there where a photographer named Jake. He was a built man. He is 6 feet 2 inches and 185 pounds. He had done cool things like being in the NFL, the NBA, and being a photographer. He was famous, French, African American, and Native American. He traveled a lot, he learned a lot, and did his favorite hobbies.While doing his job he was assigned to take pictures and study the pink elm. The pink elm was a powerful thing. It gave you things beyond your widest dreams.
While doing his job a mad scientist popped in wanting to steal the pink elm. His name was Dr. Jackie Band. He was a short man, but also smart.
Then a big fight had started. Jake said, "You will never take the pink elm."
Dr. Jackie Band said, "Over my dead body."
Then Jake said, "I intend to." Then there where hard punches to the gut and the matrix. Then they powered up and shot powerful rays at each other from their hands. After the smoke cleared Jake were still standing, but Dr. Jackie band wasn't. Jack finished his job and put the pink elm in a safe place with the FBI. "This is the end," said Jack.
Or is it?
The End
I'm glad that my students have come to understand the single concept which has meant the most to my teaching: it is possible to be short, but also smart. Before I came, sizism had run amuck. Now they just judge each other based on race, creed, gender, sexual orientation, national origin, and crunkness.
It must be fun to be eleven.
Posted by Drew at 08:46 PM | Comments (100) | TrackBack
A One Girl Revolution
It's official. My friends are cooler than your friends.
Christina has an awesome blog here.
(For those of you who don't know her, you should be aware that Christina is hot.)
Posted by Drew at 08:44 PM | Comments (59) | TrackBack