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January 03, 2005

The Pink Elm

I'm sorry that I haven't had a chance to update much of late. Ok, I've had a chance, it's just that I've used that opportunity for more useful endevors, like memorizing The Return of the King. (Now, listen carefully. Lord Denethor is Boromir's father. To give him news of his beloved son's death would be most unwise!) Luckily, I have the chance to make it up to you by sharing the greatest story ever written:

One thousand years ago there where a photographer named Jake. He was a built man. He is 6 feet 2 inches and 185 pounds. He had done cool things like being in the NFL, the NBA, and being a photographer. He was famous, French, African American, and Native American. He traveled a lot, he learned a lot, and did his favorite hobbies.

While doing his job he was assigned to take pictures and study the pink elm. The pink elm was a powerful thing. It gave you things beyond your widest dreams.

While doing his job a mad scientist popped in wanting to steal the pink elm. His name was Dr. Jackie Band. He was a short man, but also smart.

Then a big fight had started. Jake said, "You will never take the pink elm."

Dr. Jackie Band said, "Over my dead body."

Then Jake said, "I intend to." Then there where hard punches to the gut and the matrix. Then they powered up and shot powerful rays at each other from their hands. After the smoke cleared Jake were still standing, but Dr. Jackie band wasn't. Jack finished his job and put the pink elm in a safe place with the FBI. "This is the end," said Jack.

Or is it?

The End

I'm glad that my students have come to understand the single concept which has meant the most to my teaching: it is possible to be short, but also smart. Before I came, sizism had run amuck. Now they just judge each other based on race, creed, gender, sexual orientation, national origin, and crunkness.

It must be fun to be eleven.

Posted by Drew at January 3, 2005 08:46 PM

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Posted by: bruce at January 4, 2005 07:09 PM

(Dan- I deleted your comment by mistake. I'm very sorry!)

Posted by: drew at January 4, 2005 08:30 PM

re: LOTR ROTK - When I accidentally said some on the lines before the actual characters, I really freaked my family out. Oops.

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(Dan- Do you sign your posts "dirty dirty porn" or something? I deleted it again.)

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