Drew's Blog: King of all Oscar Prognostication Contests

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February 26, 2005

King of all Oscar Prognostication Contests

Sure, other sites may have fancy little buttons you can click, or a loyal readership to which they can cater, but I see no reason why we at courtney5 can't have our own Oscar contest. Haven't seen the nominated movies? Great! Neither have I!

Also, unlike other contests, I see no reason to limit the catagories to the actual awards. I mean, you can do that anywhere. No, in this contest you can make a prediction on anything. Suggested categories: who has on the ugliest clothes? Who will make the dumbest speech? Who feels it nescessary to criticize the Bush administration? Will Chris Rock introduce Uma to Oprah? What about Keanue? Will Johnny Depp have to brush a tear from his eye when he loses? Will Annette Benning attack Hillary Swank? Isn't Hillary Swank a man anyway?

Now that's an Oscar contest!!

As a prize, everyone who enters will adknowledge the winner as the Supreme Champion of Oscar Pregnostication. The winner will be required to show his/her humility by buying all the other contestants drinks next time he/she sees them. Perhaps I will write you a poem.

Just put your guesses in the comments (I made a partial list of the categoties at the end of this post. Feel free to cut and paste.) Anyone who predicts "TEXAS HOLD'EM POKER HARDCORE GAY BESTIALITY VIIOX VIAGRA REFINANCE YOUR MORGAGE" will be deleted immediatly. (Anna, I'm looking in your direction . . .)

BEST PICTURE -

BEST ACTRESS -

BEST ACTOR -

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS -

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR -

BEST DIRECTOR -

BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY -

BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY -

BEST SET DRESSING -

DRUNKEST PERSON AT YOUR (OR ANY OTHER) OSCAR PARTY -

SUNNY / NOT SUNNY -

DUMBEST SPEECH -

SEGMENT WHERE AMERICA REFILLS ITS DRINKS -

LAST PERSON ON THAT LIST OF THE DEAD THEY ALWAYS SHOW -

Posted by Drew at February 26, 2005 08:11 AM

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Comments

BEST PICTURE - Million Dollar Baby

BEST ACTRESS - Imelda Staunton. She won't win, but she was so good!

BEST ACTOR - Jamie Foxx

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS - Cate Blanchett, although I'd rather it go to whats-her-name from Sideways. Mmmmm . . . Wine . . .

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR - Morgan Freeman.

BEST DIRECTOR - Clint. Because I love Prof. Linafelt.

DRUNKEST PERSON AT YOUR (OR ANY OTHER) OSCAR PARTY - Me! No classes on Monday!

SUNNY / NOT SUNNY - Sunny. It's always sunny in stupid California.

DUMBEST SPEECH - Morgan Spurlock (of Supersize Me) If he wins I feel he is virtually guaranteed to say something completely asinine.

SEGMENT WHERE AMERICA REFILLS ITS DRINKS - Anytime Susan Sarandon is onstage.

LAST PERSON ON THAT LIST OF THE DEAD THEY ALWAYS SHOW - Johnny Carson. No contest. Who cares if he wasn't in "movies."

MISC PREDICTIONS:
- they cut to Halle Berry whenever a black person wins anything.
- Chris Rock hates himself Monday morning.
- they cut to Bill Murray whenever someone who should have won didn't.
- Elijah Wood: totally gay.

Posted by: drew at February 26, 2005 08:53 AM

BEST PICTURE - Million Dollar Baby

BEST ACTRESS - Hillary Swank

BEST ACTOR - Jamie Foxx

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS - Virginia Madsen

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR - Morgan Freeman

BEST DIRECTOR - Clint Eastwood

BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY - Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY - Sideways

BEST SET DRESSING - Phantom of the Opera

DRUNKEST PERSON AT YOUR (OR ANY OTHER) OSCAR PARTY - Anna Nicole Smith

SUNNY / NOT SUNNY - Not Sunny

DUMBEST SPEECH - Best Sound Editing

SEGMENT WHERE AMERICA REFILLS ITS DRINKS - See above

LAST PERSON ON THAT LIST OF THE DEAD THEY ALWAYS SHOW - Katharine Hepburn or Marlon Brando, I give the edge to Kate

I really want that documentary mocking The Passion of the Christ to win!

Posted by: Connie at February 26, 2005 11:43 AM

BEST PICTURE - Aviator (even though I would prefer it not to be so.)

BEST ACTRESS - Hilary Swank

BEST ACTOR - Jamie Foxx

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS - Cate Blanchett

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR - Clive Owen

BEST DIRECTOR - Clint. Yeah Todd L.

BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY - Eternal Sunshine

BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY - Sideways

BEST SET DRESSING - Lemony Snicket

DRUNKEST PERSON AT YOUR (OR ANY OTHER) OSCAR PARTY - John Cain

SUNNY / NOT SUNNY - Sunny

DUMBEST SPEECH - "Super Size Me" guy. He rubs me the wrong way.

SEGMENT WHERE AMERICA REFILLS ITS DRINKS - midway through, whatever that is.

LAST PERSON ON THAT LIST OF THE DEAD THEY ALWAYS SHOW - Clint. The camera guy will mistake his freakishly gaunt face for that of a deceased.

I wanna see Paul Giamatti go nuts when he loses and kill someone pretty. Leo... I'm lookin' at you.

Posted by: dan at February 26, 2005 06:04 PM

Ack!! I missed my precious chance to be saddled with ... I mean, have the honor of winning the Oscor Prognostication Project. However from what I saw last night, I'd like to offer Beyonce as the winner of the "Her jewlery may actually have more mass than her dress" category. Also, I believe that Antontio Banderas swept the "Actor most in need of a shower" category.
I've actually only seen the films from the more obscure categories (Les Choristes, anyone?) which I assume makes me SMART and not a geek?? Please??

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