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April 18, 2005

I think I would make a great Pope.

I am all about this conclave. The Oscars? The World Series? The Superbowl? These things are all for pansies. Papal conclaves are where it's at!

The NY Times has a pretty good guide to the conclave here although for their "Two Millenia of Popes" section is shamefully bad. For some time-wastin' awesomeness I recommend Wikipedia. Choose a Pope, any Pope. It's got all the dish. My new favorite: Pope Formosus

I am a little confused as to the "No one over 80" rule." I just don't think it makes a lot of sense. If you appoint not one but three Cardinals to help sick old men vote, you'd better make sure you've got some sick old men. They're not exactly hitting the MTV generation as it is, so why not make sure that you have some people who actually remember the second world war? JPII did and that seemed to help a little bit.

I should also take this opportunity to remind everyone that if scary, scary Ratzinger is elected Pope, I will be profoundly peeved. I just don't think I can get behind a man who was a member of the HITLER YOUTH! Seriously, folks. That's some bad mojo.

For the record, I think that I would be a truly horrible Pope.

UPDATE: If you really loved me you'd buy me this.

UPDATE II: Umm, also this.

Posted by Drew at April 18, 2005 10:14 PM

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Comments

You know, any baptized layman may be elected by the conclave. I have two words for you: Pope Bono

Posted by: Anna at April 18, 2005 11:19 PM

Hitler Youth my fanny! Ratzinger’s father was an outspoken critic of the Nazis, and Ratzinger himself later deserted from the German army (into which he was conscripted during seminary study). Whose left-wing pope blog are you reading?

Posted by: The Pope at April 18, 2005 11:30 PM

http://www.ratzingerfanclub.com/Ratzinger_faq.html

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/article/0,,2089-1572667,00.html

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joseph_Cardinal_Ratzinger

Do I think he secretly drinks the blood of Jews. No , of course not. He was required by law to join both HY and the army. I don't think this behavior disqualifies him (although it certainly contrasts unhappily with JPII's activities at the time.) I think being a scary old man disqualifies him.

Posted by: drew at April 19, 2005 07:05 AM

  • 2003: Drew completes requirements to graduate with Theology degree
  • 2003: Vatican sends Cardinal Arinze to adminster theological beatdown against Drew

  • 2005: Drew rants against Ratzinger
  • 2005: Conclave elects Ratzinger

What does the future hold?

  • 2007: Drew visits St. Peter's Cathedral
  • 2007: Church decamps Vatican, sets up in Reno, NV

  • 2009: Drew takes communion
  • 2009: Vatican blows up the moon

Posted by: Rob at April 19, 2005 12:50 PM

The Church has the technology, the time is now. It can, it must, it WILL, blow up the moon.

(I can’t believe that you advocate discrimination against scary old men. I know many scary old men, and they’re actually really good people)

Posted by: Gun-Toting Jesus at April 19, 2005 02:42 PM

I can't believe I'm going to agree with James on this particular subject, but yeah, what IS with the discrimination against scary old men? I mean, the operative word about Cardinal Ratzinger is OLD. Can you say transition papacy?

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