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May 24, 2005
Is this the end of zombie Shakespeare?
I just wanted to give a little advanced warning that I'm thinking of retiring the blog. It started out as a nice way to stay in touch with people, but I'm worried that it's grown to be more than that. I'm sure it doesn't seem like it, but posting takes a fair amount of energy and I'm begining to wonder if that's energy well spent.
Perhaps what I should say is that I'm thinking that not everything I write should be instantly consumable, nor should it be quite so glib. I'm trying to take writing a little more seriously (just a little!) and this may not be the tool through which to do it.
Or maybe what I should really say is that my life is (obviously) in transition. I kind of want to burn my house down and move to India. That doesn't translate into witty posts, so if I don't put so much on here in the next few weeks, know I'm not dead. I'm merely taking my anti-social tendencies online! (See! Another joke. I can't stop myself.)
Or maybe I'll post again tomorrow. Remember: uncertainty makes life fun.
Posted by Drew at 10:54 PM | Comments (13) | TrackBack
The Successful Life of Three
They say that bad things happen in threes:
1 - I got rejected from another job. Not really noteworthy in itself. But also . . .
2 - Our house has been invaded by mutant killer cockroaches. Technically, they may be neither mutant, nor killer. I have to say though, that a roach should just not be able to fly that well or for that long. I've seen birds that get tired faster.
3 - Some &*#% of a student stole my cell phone. Luckily, he was a moron and called all his friends before he turned it off so I should get it back, but still. I'm trying not to read too much into this, but this seems like exactly the kind of thing that I shouldn't be dealing with a week and a half before I leave. I know that I have students with whom I have great relationships but, well, this isn't what it looked like in the catalogue.
Posted by Drew at 10:47 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
May 18, 2005
I wish that I knew what I know now . . .
Now that I'm winding down my Teach For America commitment, I thought that I'd take the opportunity to pass on a bit of what I've learned. I made this list not because I am a great teacher, but because I am a pretty bad one. I've broken every one of these rules and lived to pay the price. I see no reason why you shouldn't learn from my mistakes.
TFA summer institute will teach you many things that you should know. Listen. It's good stuff. The things on here are they things they don't teach you. Or, at least, the things I didn't learn
Enjoy. I hope it helps. Good luck and God speed, you poor sonofabitch.
Eleven Things I Wish I'd Known When I Started Teach For America1 - Read "Tools for Teaching" by Fred Jones right now. If you teach reading, writing, or anything resembling reading or writing read "Mosaic of Thought." Anytime someone hands you a book after that, say "Thanks," and read it when you get a chance.
2- Whenever you are absent, Sub-proof your room. Substitute teachers are undoubtedly good people, but you won't feel that way the next day when you get back and you can see they've been rooting through your desk. Lock your desk, put away important documents, and -- for the love of God -- unplug your Internet connection or you'll come back to find programs on your computer that you never knew existed.
3 - Document Everything. Everything. Everything. Even if it means stopping class, make a note every single time you give a detention, send a child to the office, or talk to a parent. Buy a photocopier for your room if that's what it takes. In theory this will protect you against angry parents. In practice it will protect you from incompetent administrators. Either way, there will come a day when you are glad you've done it.
4 - No one else's classroom is ever as good or bad as anyone else says. Moreover, the only person who knows what's going on in a classroom is that particular teacher. Don't get discouraged by the magical things you hear about other teachers. The truly great teachers don't have time to shoot their mouths off.
5 - Teach what you think needs to be taught. Educational theorists posit that isolated instruction in grammar isn't useful in any way. Educational theorists can go fuck themselves.
6 - Put important notes on yellow paper. It means that you won't accidentally recycle the list of kids who handed in their homework for that week even if you don't get a chance to put it in the gradebook right away.
7 - No matter how tough your job is, remember that thousands of thousands of other people have done the same damn thing and not gotten a medal for it. Be proud of yourself. Vent your frustrations when you need to. But don't ever think you have "the hardest job in the world." You don't.
8 - At the beginning of the year you will be handed more information than you can ever process. You will have no idea what is important and what is bullshit -- trust me, there's a lot of it. Find someone to ask and just keep asking.
9 - Take the help you are offered.
10 - For the first two months of school, teaching procedure and organization are always a good use of your time. Once you are sure that they know it, teach it again.
11 - Children are amazingly forgiving. There is virtually nothing you can do in your classroom (yelling, throwing things, telling students to shut the fuck up) that you can't acknowledge, apologize for, and forget. Someday you will have to take advantage of this rule. Forgive yourself, too.
Posted by Drew at 09:39 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack
May 16, 2005
Down South
As I haven't been updating very frequently, I wanted to take the opportunity to share with you a site which may help satisfy your desire for spelling errors and rash, ill-formed opinions. Yes, I'm talking about the Helena Daily World. More specifically, the guestbook.
Whether or not you know the ins and outs of the Helena-West Helena political scene, I'm sure the insanity of this page is immediatly apparent. How could it not be? Take any medium-small town in the middle of the Delta and give its citizens an anonymous outlet in which they can vent their frustrations. Instant entertainment!
Just a touch of background: early in the year, the HWH school board ousted their superintendent and hired Earnest Sims to replace him. The vote was 4-3 and the tie-breaking vote was cast by Raymond Sims, Earnest Sims' brother. In theory someone could sue, but the local judge is none other than, yes, another Sims.
Cut to last week in which a motion was made to end the school board meeting. Three members left, but, noting that no vote had yet been taken, the four remaining members sacked the new superintendent and hired another, newer superintendent.
That should be all you need to enjoy this newspaper. The citizens of Helena, while hurling accusations at one another, will no doubt fill you in on the rest.
Posted by Drew at 09:39 PM | Comments (59) | TrackBack
May 11, 2005
Limited Time Offer
I haven't had a real update in a while but I wanted to alert all my loyal readers (Hi, Mom!) to thrilling news: I've made a mix tape.
Ok, to some of you, that may not seem thrilling, but those of you who enjoyed my last mix ("The Rurual Hipster") have no doubt been waiting eagerly for the follow up. Ok, maybe you haven't. Please don't tell me.
In the interest of making my friends like me more, I'll send a copy of "The Edwardian Torture Mix" to anyone who wants one. E-mail me your address at [MY FIRST NAME].[MY LAST NAME]@gmail.com and put in the subject line a grossly inaccurate compliment about my physical attractiveness. (Suggestions: "Drew isn't really as scrawny as everyone says" or "Drew: Thin, patchy facial hair is Hot!") The only condition is that one day, in the near or distant future, you burn a CD for me. Or write me a poem. Or just promise to hang out with me.
First come, first serve until I finish off this stack of CDs I've got right here.
Posted by Drew at 02:04 PM | Comments (91) | TrackBack
May 05, 2005
I am a bad parent.
Last night, thanks to my good friend Wendy, I was exposed to my first helping of the show Supernanny. I don't even have children and this show makes me feel like a bad parent. I guess it's just that Jo (the Supernanny) has all sorts of very simple, obvious ideas which I found totally shocking
"Structure? Discipline? What could those possibly have to do with childrearing?"
A great deal, it turns out. Sadly, I think that my befuddlement in watching the show may shed some light on the challenges I face in the classroom. (Don't hit your kids? Now that's just crazy talk.)
Posted by Drew at 10:17 PM | Comments (53) | TrackBack
May 02, 2005
My life in Cheetos
Most of you probably thought that today's "Hot Cheetos" report on Marketplace* was kind of absurd. Not me. If you want to know what my life is like, realize that I not only observe the Hot Cheeto trade, but occasionally confiscate and consume a bag myself.
Also, check out David Brown. I feel better knowing that my business news comes from a man who looks strikingly similar to Che.
* - Ok, I realize that I'm the only one who listens to Marketplace. I'm still cool. Right? Oh, never mind.
Posted by Drew at 09:54 PM | Comments (49) | TrackBack
May 01, 2005
Two Awesome Sites
Postsecret: Dirty secrets sent to someone you don't even know. Pretty gutwrenching. Reminds me of the Apology Line on This American Life
Time Traveler Convention: Less depressing. General Silliness.
Posted by Drew at 09:20 PM | Comments (39) | TrackBack
A Vist from My Mom
This weekend my mother came to visit me in the deep, dark Delta. It was very nice to have her here, but it did make me realize how soon it will be before I have to leave.
"Have to?" you scoff.
Yes, have to. Spending time showing someone around the Delta reminds me of all the things to love about the place. Good friends. Ground Zero. My big built in bookshelves. The man in the casino who casually offered my mother chewing tobacco as we watched people shoot craps. Oh, I shall miss you Arkansas.
Good thing I have school tomorrow. I'm pretty sure getting punching in the face by a few kids / screwed over by a few administrators will restore some clarity to my thoughts.
Also, while we were walking around Memphis a bird pooped on my head.
Job Angst Level: A purpose driven life is overrated.
Posted by Drew at 09:13 PM | Comments (52) | TrackBack