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April 10, 2008
I'm Really Into Leonard Cohen Right Now
Because of my consistently uncool musical tastes, I sometimes find it hard to talk to strangers about music. After all, one never knows: will these people respect my semi-obsessive love of Belle and Sebastian? Will they think it's weird when I say that that I like male vocalists who sound like Nina Simone and sing about transsexualism and domestic abuse? Is The Arcade Fire still hip? Were they ever?
Finally, at an office event I attended with Nick, I found the seven words that are guaranteed to get you out of the awkward conversation with your dignity intact: "I'm really into Leonard Cohen right now." Try it. I guarantee that it will get you complete deference from whoever you're talking to and complete absolution for the fact that you've never even heard of M83 (whoever the hell they are.)
Why this semi-mystical reverence for Leonard Cohen? Is it because everyone listens to him? No. It's because no one listens to him, but (and here's the magic) they all think they should. After all, Jeff Buckley covered his music, as did, umm , Rufus Wainwright, and, you know . . . that other guy. And since those people, who presumably knew a fair amount about music, like his songs, your conversations partners will assume that they should too.
But, in fact, they don't, which is why they don't listen to him in the first place. Which isn't surprising, since his music is consistently depressing and almost comically self-serious. His popular obscurity is only enhanced by the fact that he's a seventy year old Canadian, Jewish Buddhist.
This point between what people actually like and what they feel they ought to like isn't just a great refuge from knowing condescension, it's the true high ground of indie/hipster one-upsmanship. The Leonard Cohen cocktail of ignorance and shame renders your conversational opponents impotent to knock you from your perch. Unless someone in the group stakes out yet a more extreme position (something like "I don't listen to music.") your position is nigh unassailable.
The only true danger lies in the off chance that someone you're talking to also listens to Leonard Cohen (or, more likely, actually is Leonard Cohen) in which case the results would be such a cultural-literacy bloodbath that we're better off not considering it.
I'm rather shocked that more people haven't taken advantage of this secret, and I imagine that as soon as word gets out you'll be hearing people trying it everywhere. But not with me, because I'm warning you, I've been listening to a lot of Leonard Cohen lately.
Posted by Drew at April 10, 2008 08:40 PM